Monday, June 01, 2009

Archie + Veronica - Betty = "Ideal"?

A little fluff for you.

Much ado was made last week of the news that Archie Andrews had finally made a decision between Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge and chosen…Veronica.

Many were shocked, many were saddened, many cheered, many people said “Archie who?”

But let’s not get too carried away. They once killed Superman, too, you know. It remains to be seen if this thing will ever really play out. I mean, judging by the faces of not only the heart-broken Betty but the best pal Jughead, this seems like an unlikely path for the long term.

There can be little doubt that interest in the comic will rise over the coming months as the six-parter unfurls. Is this just a marketing ploy? Maybe. But it’s a dangerous one.

Whether it’s Moonlighting, Scarecrow & Mrs. King or Spider-Man, we’ve seen time and again that having your romantic storylines “settled” can be a bad thing. Where does the story go from here? What becomes of Betty now that she can no longer pine for Archie without looking like a home wrecker? Does she hook up with Jughead to drown her sorrows?

If the storyline does end with an incomplete nuptial, where does that leave our heroes? I mean, Veronica and Archie may have some lingering tension, but surely Betty would be forced to move on. I mean, if THIS is not a sign she should get her sh*t together and stop being a doormat…

Let’s face facts: Archie could never end up with Betty unless the strip was coming to an end. I mean, THERE’s a storyline that has nowhere to go. At least with Archie & Veronica you still have the relationship with Mr. Lodge to play with. What good is a happily-ever-after ending with Betty?

The article I read on the subject bothered me, though. One part reads:

“People who vote for Veronica-Archie are the idealists, the people who say, ‘I'm voting for the glitz, the glamour, the high energy, the sexiness, the ideal [and] they might not even care so much that it'll only last five years,'” says the Toronto-based registered family, marriage and sex therapist.

Those who yearn to see Archie and Betty get hitched take a more realistic, traditional view, she says. They're more grounded, are thinking long term and have more of a sense of “for always and forever.”

Um, maybe I’m in the minority here, but I happen to think the “always and forever” IS the ideal. Who in their right mind thinks “Ideally, I’d marry a rich, sexy, glamourous person and maybe get divorced in 5 years after it all fizzles.”

Huh? No thanks.

Good thing I’m not glitzy, glamourous, nor high energy so I don’t have to put up with shallow Veronica lovers.

(Sexy, I can’t deny. I am that.)


Alison Jutzi said...

No one would deny your sexiness. Especially with that facial hair.

Anonymous said...

If I were a writer for Archiecomics, I'd have Archie go through a 2-3 years long engagement (that ought to guarantee a few high sale seasons, right?). In the meantime, he'd be trying his best to please the sexy, glamorous Veronica, while also offering his shoulder to Betsy for her to cry on. In fact, he'd be scheming up plans on how to get V and B to become best friends - in a potential attempt to establish a blissful menage a trois. This of course has many political implications, as legalizing polygamy might turn into a reality of the future (in a galaxy, far, far away).
In order to keep up with shallow, but (once again) glamorous Veronica, Archie would go through many personality disorders, which would be reflected in the comic strip by mind-boggling metamorphoses, whereby Arch is seen transforming into the Hulk, Spiderman, Wonderwoman, and, at last, Superman. It is thus that we shall witness the return of the hero we have wailed for so long. For, alas, Archie will prove to be none other than Clark Kent himself. I believe that unifying these two unique comic characters, as well as, of course, the implicit merge of DC and ArchieC (or should I say takeover?) will prove to be a crowd-pleaser throughout the crisis, panic struck North American continent. Think of all the jobs this will generate.
Anyways, getting back to our characters: I agree with you that the recent pairing of V and A is not the ideal, and also think that Bets should hook up with Jughead. Furthermore, I suggest that B does not do it simply to drown her sorrows, but to build a new comic book empire of her own. She will at first be part of J's little strip, of course, however, with time, she becomes such an imposing figure that Archiecomics will create a new style of comics just for her - and, in fact, will soon become Betsycomics. This wondrous transfiguration will take some time, understood - she does have the episode with the proposal to get over, plus all the subsequent sexual-innuendo-filled encounters with our Archie boy - all in all, perhaps, a few pages of nicely drawn comic strips should take care of that transition period. Once that is all exploited to the maximum selling potential, Bets will give up her silly name, and admit in front of the world (I suggest we do that on Oprah) that she is in fact Dr. Womanhattan – the mother of all being, the (flash)light, the (high)way, and the (half)truth.
I know that it seems as if she’s on to take over the (comic) world, however, I think there is still potential in Archie’s story. After realizing his true nature, that of a Superman, a Ubermensch, indeed, Nietzsche’s Zarathustra, Archie will dump little V and join the school of post postmodernism in order to train as a Jedi. Thus , you can see, my friend, his story is only beginning. (to be continued).

PS said...

...? :) Who ARE you, Anonymous? I must know...

I didn't realize Archie comics were so deep...

I need more comics! And 'shrooms!

Anonymous said...

oh, take my word for it, Archie (comics) are deep... :))
you need a more demanding job is what you need :D

PS said...

Amen to that!!!

Anonymous said...

chez nous on dit: "da, Doamne!" :P