TTC = Take The Car

I kid of course; I like public transit and am a big proponent of its use.

Now that I live downtown, it's so much cheaper not to have a car. I can walk just about anywhere I need to go (including work! Woo-hoo!) and take the TTC only when I need to get to events that are across town. A car? Who needs it? (Of course, I rarely get out of town these days..but like I said, I'm saving tons of dough)

Anyhow, the point of this blog is to bitch and bitch I shall.

I like the TTC, but I f***ing hate streetcars.

Forget the fact that they are a blight on the urban landscape, what with their wires running every which way across Queen, Spadina, etc., they don't even do their job effectively.

The major flaw with streetcars is evident to anyone who has lived in the downtown core: they are slaves to the tracks. See, up here in Canada we have this funny white thing (no, not Jim Carrey - he's barely even amusing anymore) called snow. Snow tends to get shovelled up and put to the side of the road where it creates these little mountains for kids to play on and risk their lives in. The problem comes when people try to (lawfully, mind you) park next to the snow banks - the cars tend to stick out a little further than they do in the summer. This creates havoc with the streetcars because they cannot manoeuvre their fat track-bound asses around the cars.

And so they get stuck, with nowhere to go until the car gets moved either by the owner or by a tow truck.

S-T-O-O-P-I-D.

Last night, I was trying to get home from my sports league. I waited for the streetcar. I waited some more. I waited some more. I waited for Godot. I waited on tables. I waited to exhale...still no streetcar. Turns out the damn thing had gotten into a fender bender with a minivan about 300 metres up the street, just out of view. It had to stop and wait for the police and TTC officials. Of course, this meant that not only was it not going to reach my stop to pick me up, but that every other streetcar behind it was stuck too.

Took me an hour and a half to get home. It's a 20 minute ride.

My proposition? Ditch the streetcars, tear up the tracks, tear down the wires, reclaim the streets and invest in some "green" buses that can go anywhere they damn well please.

'Cause what's the point of a streetcar system that's so easily de-railed?

Pet Peeves: TTC

To pick up on Alison’s lead, I thought I might vent on one (several) of my pet peeves:

The TTC and how we use it.

Some of my complaints include:

1. Morons who stop as soon as they enter the subway car. If there are people behind you, you’re blocking the way and making it harder to get on before the door closes. I know you may be getting off at the next stop but - don’t worry – you’ll be able to get off even if you move into the train. Right now you're just being rude.

2. Morons who use stairs at busy stations when there’s an escalator right next to it. If you are at a busy station like Bloor or King and you are going up, say, and there’s an up escalator next to a set of stairs, you’re not being lazy if you use the escalator; you’re being considerate. If you use the stairs despite the escalator going your way then you’re just going to create traffic issues for the people coming DOWN who have no choice but to use the stairs. Use your head and take the escalator.

3. Morons who are paranoid about being able to get off at their stop. Whether you’re taking the bus or subway, there’ll be lots of time for you to get off once the vehicle stops. Pushing your way to the doors while the vehicle's in motion just creates the possibility you’ll lose your balance or knock someone over. Keep calm – you’ll get off. I’ve only seen one person miss their stop because they couldn’t get to the door in time and that was at Rosedale at rush hour in a packed car. But who gets off at Rosedale?

4. A$$hole jerks who rush to take seats ahead of women, children and the elderly. Give me a break. I give these guys the death stare and will occasionally confront them if it’s particularly egregious. Is this a cultural thing? Are these people from patriarchal societies or somehow raised not to respect others? This is perhaps the worst offense in my mind. I’ve simply gotten used to not sitting if the car is busy. Even if there is the odd seat available, it’s quite likely a lady will step on at the next stop or two, so I just keep standing.

5. Clueless morons who talk on their cell phones on the TTC. If you get a call, make it quick and speak quietly. Just because you’re having a hard time hearing the other person because of the ambient noise around you does not mean they can’t hear you perfectly fine if you speak softly.

6. Oblivious morons who walk while using cell phones. This applies anywhere. People tend to walk with cell phones the way they drive with cell phones: not well. They get distracted, slow down, don’t watch the flow of traffic and just become a nuisance. If you need to use your phone, move off to the side and let others continue on their way.

7. Distracted TTC drivers. I’ve seen drivers use cell phones, talk to attractive passengers and even do Sudoku puzzles while operating the vehicle. This is beyond silly and dangerous. If you see this, tell the driver off. You have my blessing.

8. Inconsiderate morons who use inadequate headphones while listening to their crappy music. Ear buds are not headphones. They are for use while you’re jogging outside, not while commuting between Eglinton and Bloor. You might as well take out the buds and crank the speakers ‘cause we can all hear the music anyways – you might as well let us hear it at full quality. Jerks.

9. Litterbugs. Seriously; throw your crap in the garbage/recycling. What are you – five?

10. TTC drivers who pump the brakes. Someone needs to train TTC drivers to drive as if people are standing inside their vehicles ‘cause – guess what – they ARE!!! Stop driving like “gas” and “brake” are your only two options and you must alternate between them as often as possible.

11. Streetcars. ‘Nuff said.

12. Space wasters. Look, chimps can put building blocks together. Why can’t we stand inside TTC cars in such a way as to maximize space and capacity? I see people sitting and standing at the oddest angles and worst positions, preventing people from getting on at rush hour. Move your ass into the train and stand shoulder to shoulder. How hard is that? You’ll be helping others get to their destination and helping to ensure our position at the top of the food chain.

13. Lack of communication. In New York City, if the train is delayed for 10 seconds (no exaggeration) an announcement is made apprising passengers IN THE CAR of the situation. In Toronto, not only are announcements rarely made, they are often only heard on the station platforms and not in the car. The people in the cars need to know, too, so that they can get off at the next station and walk if the delay is severe enough. Besides, even if they can’t get off, having some information will keep them calmer than if they’re left in the dark.

14. Drivers who don’t know how to stop. The bus posts are there for a reason. They tell the driver where to stop. If they don’t stop in the right place, the back door (where you’re SUPPOSED to get off) may open to a trash bin or bus shelter, thus preventing people from getting off. This can especially be a pain if you have a suitcase with you. Happened to me? You bet.

15. Paranoid morons who insist on going out via the front door of the bus. Not only is this inconsiderate towards the people trying to get on, but it defies the sign at the front of the bus telling you to please exit via the rear doors. I’ve seen people literally push their way to the front from their seat at the back of the bus just so that they can use the front door. Why are these people afraid of the back door? Were they traumatized by a back door as a child? Speaking of back doors, guys, think of the bus as your body – front for in, back for out. It’s meant to be one-way traffic; like your @$$hole, @$$hole.

I’m sure I have more complaints…but I hate complainers – they’re one of my pet peeves.

Streetcars can kiss my @$$

So it's been over a week since my last post. I had been relatively calm in that period, not finding much to rant about or at least nothing worth writing down while bored at work.

My lovely friend Charlene bemoaned the lack of blogging activity (bless her heart) and requested a fresh tirade. So here it is.

(Anyone else miss me? Anyone? Bueller? Didn't think so.)

So I'm on my way to my TESSC multi-sport semi-final playoff game last night with my buddy Pat. I live at Jarvis and Carlton and the game's at Malvern Collegiate which is at Main and Gerrard. The Carlton streetcar practically takes me from door to door.

Theoretically.

See, the streetcar has one major drawback, as discussed in a previous post: IT'S A STREETCAR!

We're running pretty much on schedule and reach Greenwood. At this point our trip goes off the rails (metaphorically speaking of course). The streetcar that was 10 minutes or so ahead of us has come to a stop on the tracks and is surrounded by police cars. Seems some dude was causing enough trouble on board to cause the operator to call the police and they are now leading him into one of many squad cars. Meanwhile, we're not going anywhere. Neither is the streetcar that is now behind ours.

What we have here, folks, is a TTC-generated traffic jam.

It becomes clear that, despite the $8.50 day pass I had bought earlier in the day, the TTC is not going to get me to my game on time. Pat and I get off along with everyone else and grab a cab.

Oh, but the adventure does not end there.

See, the cabbie heads along Gerrard/Eastwood (it splits) until he reaches Woodbine and heads north. When he rejoins Gerrard St. East, however, he's unable to make the desired right turn. Why?

BECAUSE THEY'RE REPLACING THE STREETCAR TRACKS!!! The road is closed. And it's gonna be closed for a number of days if not weeks while the work is done. So we continue north to Danforth (which I would have reached quicker had I taken the subway initially) and take a roundabout route to the gym.

$13 later, we're at our destination.

To cap off the night, we end up losing the playoff game.

But that's ok, since we play for fun and it's a good time.

Taking the streetcar? Not so much.