Monday, December 19, 2005

NFL "Power Rankings"

We have this football pool going at work. Every week, you make your selections based on win/loss straight up. No spreads.

If you've been following the NFL this year, you know that the season started off a little strangely. As a result, I was taking a serious bath in the pool. As of week 6, was sitting in 9th place out of 13 players.

Considering some people were picking teams based on team colours, this was really bruising my ego.

I've managed to turn things around though, and as of last week, was sitting relatively comfortably in 3rd place. Anyone finishing 4th or better recoups their money at least.

One of the bottom-dwellers joked that they choose their teams based on team monikers - who would beat who in a fight. Since I was absolutely bored to tears at work on Friday, I actually worked out an unscientific (but, wow, I'd love to be part of that research team) ranking of NFL teams based on their monikers and who would win in a gladiator-type fight.

Here are the results:

Titans (I mean, come on, they’re the original gods for Pete’s sake)
(big enough not to be killed by bullets, but not a Titan)
Bills (inspired by “Buffalo Bill” Cody – reportedly a fantastic shot)
Cowboys (six shooter)
Patriots (musket)
Buccaneers (they have pistols)

Bears (black, not grizzly)
(swords, no guns)
Redskins (assuming they only have a tomahawk)
Steelers (forgers, not warriors)
49ers (they had pick axes and pans!)

Seahawks (talons get edge over hoofs, despite size)
(named for the cavalry cry – the original emblem is a horse)
Broncos (untamed but not battle proven like the Charger)
Texans (no implication in name that they’re armed)
Browns (named after their first coach)
Packers (named after a packing company sponsor)
(don't ask how they get in the Coliseum)
Cardinals (the bird, not the guys in the hats)
Saints (I’m thinking folks who’d rather die than hurt anything, not St. George type)

Discuss amongst yourselves...

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